Been awhile

Well I haven't been here for awhile... We have had a little Drama at football and I can't deal very well with crap from other people so here goes...Monkey was on his way home from school about 2 weeks ago walking with some friends...Yes i do work at his school and he could ride with me but NO ONE rides with their Mom soo..Monkey was walking the 4 blocks to our house with 3 or 4 friends and the knot heads find a beer bottle on the side of the road and what do you do when you find a bottle well you throw it in the road in front of your coaches parents house right... here is where the drama starts.. Did the coach call me...NO he decided to punish Monkey himself at football practice making him run extra laps...Uh No.. So I allowed the punishment to stand but let the coach know that it was not O.K. and in the future I would be handling all the parenting thankyouverymuch...settled right...Uh No last week Monkey was accused of cheating in class by his teacher...Whoa right...K here is the deal she passed out a crossword puzzle told the kids that they could work together and allowed them the use of their laptop computers to research the answers. How in the H can you cheat under those circumstances you ask? Wait it gets better on the crossword puzzle paper there was a web site address in 1 inch block letters across the top of the page , The teacher never instructed the class not to go to that site so Monkey went directly to the site that she printed the paper from and found all the answers wha la..She snatches his paper calls him a cheater and he freaks and says in front of the class "Won't I get suspended for cheating"? Then he is off to the office by the time he is finished in the office school has been released so a little girl in his class goes home and tells her Dad the field comissioner for our Football league that Monkey was suspended...We send Monkey off to practice and we head to Mouses Game to watch her Cheer having no idea what is happening at Monkeys practice. He gets to practice and Field Comm Dad comes down to make sure he wasn't suspended Monkey says he was not and FC Dad tells coach to ask us when we get there just to confirm and allows him to stay at practice...Coach proceeds to decide to be the judge and has Monkey(85lbs) run the ball and have the 3 biggest kids on the team(120+lbs) tackle him repeatedly each time saying that is what you get for being a cheater....WHAT THE H*LL this guy has been Monkeys Coach for 2 years and knows that I work at his school did he think that the kid could take a pee and I won't know about it regardless of that we signed him up for football not physical abuse...Needless to say things have gotten really bad and seem to only be getting worse. I placed a formal complaint against him with the league and he now is not playing my son...Grrr... The situation is so unfair and I am really torn I would like to take my Son and not allow them to hurt him physically or emotionally again but Monkey gets upset by the mere mention that he would have to quit the team..This is why there is a waiting period to buy handguns...I'm Just sayin'... BTW check out the sign language in the Pic on this post! Hee...

Silver Lining

This is so not funny...I'm still laughing... Monkey rides his bike to football practice with a friend who lives near by and is on the same team, in order for them to get to the practice field they have to take the cat walk over a busy 5 lane road. Apparently the brakes on Monkeys bike are not what they should be and his Dad not knowing that told him to never drag his feet with his cleats on that it would ruin them....you probably know where I'm heading about now picture Monkey in full uniform careening down the cat walk unwilling to drag his feet for fear his cleats would be ruined slams into the fence at the end...his butt slides off the seat and his delicate man parts land squarely on the bar....Looking for the silver lining in this very unfortunate situation I suggested that it was probably good that he was wearing his cup. This comment was met with the death glare and he proceeded to go into great detail the injuries he had suffered and how he felt that I was not sympathetic and clearly did not or could not understand the depth of the pain involved...Ummm K Childbirth I think might qualify me..not sure but just maybe pushing an 8lb human being out of your woo hoo could be just slightly more painful than cracking your balls on your bike...WHILE WEARING A CUP...

Hotter than blue blazes what ever that means....

This has been the Looooongest day ever and doesn't look like it's gonna stop anytime soon it's 9:00 pm and we just got home because in all his infinite wisdom Monkeys football coach planned a scrimmage against another team from a neighboring district....On the first day of school when it is 90+ degrees outside and hotter than Africa. The boys were so sick 2or 3 of them AND the coach from the other team all threw up...I mean COME ON these are 10 and 11 year old boys really I love football and every thing but CRAP...Oh and to add to the splendor that is my life one of the other parents from the team put me on the spot with the can you do me a favor line....You know I just wanted to turn around and take off running...Damn bad ankle I might have made it. So the "favor" was can you take my little poopsie home with you until his grandma gets out of work...Crap...Unable to think of any way to get out of it I said sure what time will she be coming to get him...Oh it won't be later than 8:00pm...K alright it's 9:05 and well HE'S STILL HERE! The poor kid can't even shower cuz well dudes don't borrow other Dudes undies...or so I've been told. On a more positive note Monkey made 2 interceptions at the scrimmage today...WOO HOO! The Momma is proud and exhausted and her foot is starting to throb and she wants her happy pants and she thinks she should stop talking about her self in the 3rd person but she just can't seem to.....Hope your day has been great...No seriously I really mean it! I'm not just being sarcastic....right.

Julie BTW 9:20pm....still here...Grrrr

Crying Game...Bunny Style...

About a year ago we purchased a Mini-Rex bunny from a local discount store...I know I should never ever ever buy pets from unscrupulous dealers... But you weren't there and you didn't have to look at his cute little face...Any hoo we bought the little bugger and they told us he was 6 weeks old and you couldn't tell what sex they were until 8-10 weeks so we patiently waited 2 weeks took him to the vet to be "identified" and were told it was a girl so with the deal the boogers had struck, (Mouse names girl Monkey names boy) The great debate began names were tossed around and eventually we settled on "Lola" and all was well...Until one of the normal Friday visits to the 1st grade class I was working in we had the brilliant idea that Lola would like to meet the pre-school bunny Valentine an absolutely adorable Lop. It looked really good at first they raced they sniffed they jumped and frolicked so sweet it made your teeth hurt, Then with 18 pre-schoolers looking on it happened....Lola mounted Valentine....Whoa what the heck was that....Wait a flippin' second girl's don't do that....Our little girl had balls...Apparently our buns was a late bloomer or the store had lied about his age. This was a new skill once learned needed to be practiced and I was the object of his affection...repeatedly and violently... without being too graphic I could no longer put my hand into his cage to feed him with out some sort of assault. The last straw was when he got decidedly more aggressive with his attentions and left a 3-4 inch gash on my arm...Off to the vet and off with his balls. A short few weeks later after all the pesky testosterone had been expelled we had our sweet buns back. The problem was dude looked like a lady, Mouse got to name her and Monkey was mad and demanded his right to re-name him. We tried rather unsuccessfully to make the transition from Lola to Harry, then Atilla the bun, we even gave Sam a try with no luck his name was Lola...Mr. Lola...I happen to think that Mr. Lola is a nice name and sorta makes him sound like a gay hairdresser. Sadly I can't afford to have anyone with a name that cool cut my hair...Our buns is feeling under the weather and hopefully he get's better quickly, We miss his constant begging for treats and attention.... Get well soon Mr. Lola we Love your furry little A**


*Hope you all have a relaxing and safe Labor day*

Julie

Little Sicko's

While I was getting Monkey ready for Football practice rushing around trying to remember all the stuff that he was destined to forget and send me home for, I managed to do some sort of Jerry Lewis move and fling myself down the front porch stairs...Apparently while I was falling I screamed out Monkeys name and it must have sounded pretty dramatic because it sent all the kiddies scrambling to see what happened. Picture me laying in the driveway unable to move my ankle, in a fair amount of pain when the laughter started...Not me mind you....My children...and a couple of neighbor kids...laughing at their poor crippled Mother while I laid unable to move at the foot of the stairs "get me the phone" I managed to croak through the pain, laughing Mouse goes into the house and brings back the phone and I call Hubby on his cell phone.

Hubby: Hello

Me: *sniff* Can you come home I fell down the stairs and really hurt my ankle..

Hubby: O honey are you O K ?

Me: *crying now* No I can't get up and the kids are laughing...

Hubby: I'll be right there...*giggle*



What kind of perverted sense of humor do these kids have to find their own mother falling down the stairs amusing?? Let me tell ya what kind...Mine that's what! I don't know what it is about someone falling or getting hit in the crotch that makes me dissolve in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. It's just damn funny... till your the one laying at the bottom of the stairs then...Not so much. As far as the ankle goes it is pretty swollen and sore but I'm confident that I'll survive. The great news is I get to go back to work with a bad hoof...nice job on that one right!

Julie

Back to work...

Well Summer is over...The pool is drained and it is time to get back to work/school. I will be working at a different building in the same district this year. The building I am moving from houses all the pre-k to 2nd grade students in the district. The building I am moving to has the children that are 3rd to 5th grade. Excited..Not so much... I have a few concerns about the move. My job for the last 2 years has been a 1 on 1 aide position to an Autistic boy. The Autism makes him very rigid and difficult when it comes to change and in turn makes for a very hard few months until he gets in to a routine but, that is something that we have dealt with in the past and we will surely get through. The building that we are moving to has a cat walk that leads from the playground directly into his neighborhood just 2 blocks from his home. No big deal right....Wrong when he gets upset he runs, and let me just tell ya the boy can run. Another concern is that he has some behaviors that may not be so well received with kids that are getting older, for example he likes to touch girls hair..AH NO..and he says things like "Your pretty"..well that kinda creeps little girls out.. So I guess it is going to be an adjustment. He is such a sweet boy and it is going to break my heart see the same kids that have been his friends pull away from him because he is different. I hope all my worries are for nothing and everything will work out just fine.

Julie

MY*SPACE

O K I have allowed my kids to have a My*Space page...Before the lynch mob starts to form yes I know that they are not "old" enough and I have lied to secure said page. With that being said I just want to say I Love it. I Love it. I Looooove it, Both kids have them and had gotten them at roughly the start of 5th grade. They do not know their own log in info so no unauthorized spacin and they are obviously set to private with all comments needing my approval. I feel like it is a really valuable parenting tool, it's like a window into their friends home. The little turds act like no one else can see the info that they put out there. On a couple of different occasions I have been shocked by what I saw on the pages of kids that I have known since my kiddies were in preschool, kids who by all appearances came from good homes. I guess my shock at behavior may not fall into line with other peoples. I am shocked by swearing out of a 10 or 12 year old and certain graphics that have a sexual reference. The greater majority of time the pages are appropriate and the ones who aren't just give me a kind of "watch list" so I have some idea what they are thinking even if they are just trying something out. I find it is pretty close to what they are when you start really paying attention. Be careful what you put out there kiddies someones momma might be watching..

Julie

I'm no liar.. I'm a prevaricator...

It's really hard to be taken serious when your kid has a better vocabulary than you...This exchange really happened when I was trying to pin my son down about why he hadn't done his chores.

Me: Did you do your chores?

Monkey: What?

Me: I said did you do your chores?

Monkey: Huh?

Me: Turn off the game and answer me!

Monkey: Hold on I gotta finish this level.

Me: Turn it off....*Through gritted teeth*

Monkey: K geesh

Me: Can you hear me now?

Monkey: Mmmhmmm

Me: Did you do your chores?

Monkey: Yes

Me: All of them? Are you sure?

Monkey: Yeah

Me: Really...Cuz I noticed that the bathroom still has laundry in the floor and the Kitchen has NOT been swept...

Monkey: Oh K I'll do it.

Me: Why did you Lie to me it's not like I won't notice?

Monkey: I don't like the word lie.... I prefer prevaricate...

Me: Go do your chores....*sneaking off to check the online dictionary*


Prevaricate: prevaricate ( ) intr.v. , -cated , -cating , -cates . To stray from or evade the truth; equivocate. See synonyms at lie.


It's true you really do learn something new every day....

Julie

My baby is in Middle School....sniff.....

I remember like it was yesterday holding that little wriggling pink bundle of absolute love. She wasn't cute like other people's babies this one was special. I had always heard people talk about how much they loved their child, but I really couldn't grasp the sheer force of the feelings that you experience, it is truly life changing. It has been said it's the moment that your heart starts to beat in someone else's chest. I couldn't possibly say it any better, she stole my heart and I have never been the same. I look at her and I am stricken by how beautiful, talented, intelligent and genuinely kind she is and as I watch her grow into the person she will ultimately be, I am humbled by how much she has taught me about who I am and who I should be. I watch her as she grows and meets challenges with a grace and serenity that has to be God given because she has surely not learned it from her Momma. She is growing up and pulling away wanting to be more independent and the desire to protect her from all the awful things I know are waiting out in the world is almost too much. All I can do is give her what little wisdom I have and trust that this person I have created has the strength of character to look at all those temptations and know in her heart she will never be less of a person for saying no. I have to allow her to go out and make choices and use all of the skills I know she has and it's killing me.....But I will smile, ask if her cell phone is charged and tell her to have fun! I wonder is this ever gonna get easier?
I hope not.....

Julie

Football...

Monkey #13 our 10yr old son plays full contact football and his Momma LOVES it! I go with them (Hubby aka Coach and Monkey) to practice every day and have a great time just watching my "men" bond and be all manly. This is Monkeys 3rd year and it is still so much fun...except this year there's a boy on the team who's father is Hmmm how to put this nicely... a registered perv. I have no idea of the circumstances that led to this man being registered and I try not to allow this to enter into any of the dealings that I have with him, But he is going out of his way to argue with me and I am not sure why or how to deal with him. He has made me so angry on a couple of occasions that I have gotten up and moved my chair away from him. Hubby and I are always at least 30min. early for each practice cuz people have a habit of dropping their kids off WAAAAY early and we don't like them to be left unattended. This means I am always the first one to set up my chair and this man deliberately brings his ignorance up in MY space. The latest incident went like this.

Perv: Bought this cool game for my Son...

Me: mmmhmm

Perv: Grand Theft Auto IV (craning his neck to look at me for reaction)

Me: K...

Perv: Stupid Ass ex-wife doesn't want him to have it tho...

Me: Raised eyebrows "Wow"

Perv: What! You prolly wouldn't let your kid have it Huh....

Me: Nope...

Perv: Their gonna see all that shit on the playground...I mean their gonna learn it...

Me: Really...On the playground...at school? Ya suppose they will be having sex with a prostitute, shoot her in the face and steal her money....on the playground...at school...K

Perv: F**k you, your just like my ex.....

Me: I assume you mean intelligent, well spoken and a GOOD parent....Thank you...

Perv: Ya know you can't protect your kid's forever...

Me: No, I agree you can't and it is possible that my Son could be exposed to a game like that at some point but I sure as hell do not have to put my stamp of approval on it in my home... I cannot control the fact that some parents feel like it makes them cool to give in to a childish demand for something that is so obviously not appropriate...your right I can't protect them forever but I will sure as hell try. (all said while moving my chair)


What I really don't understand is did he think that he would change how I feel about exposing my child to something that I find disgusting... just because he said it was cool? I mean him of all people the one who obviously makes BAD life choices. I should just run right out and buy that game now cuz Mr. life skills said it's OK. The absolute nerve...that a registered sex offender would think that because he tells me that I can't protect my kid's forever I should just let them go, it's people like him are the reason that parents DO have to be so vigilant....GRRR

Julie

School time again....BLAH

Most parents get almost get giddy when you mention the start of a new school year. I am not one of those parents I know what the kids feel like. We are exactly 1 week from the start of school and I am sad and grumpy, it feels like we just got out. *whining* The one part I do like about the start of another year is SCHOOL SUPPLIES I just love em'. I must have a tote full of every kind of eraser, pencil and marker. Every year I go on an absolute tear and buy enough to outfit a small army and yet still I continue to buy them with happy abandon. What is it about the 20 cent boxes of Crayola crayons that makes me lose control? Does anyone else suffer this affliction or am I as big a freak as my hubby says! At one time the entire top of our closet was full of spiral notebooks and hubby felt it was time for an intervention and suggested *kindly* that he thought it might be a fire hazard to have that much paper just sitting around and I *might* consider donating it to the school...but we might NEED it I cried, in a firm but gentle voice he reminded me that the hall closet also had spiral notebooks in it... I happen to think that there may be an under lying genetic link because my father suffers with the affliction as well. All I can say is at least I still have school aged kids to hide my shame....for now.

Julie

First day

My name is Julie and I should probably tell you that I have really horrible punctuation so if this is a big deal to you then you should prolly just head out now. I am the Queen of the run on sentence and will put very little effort into changing my bad habits. I am 35 years old and I live in Michigan with my husband and 2 kids. We have been married for 14 years and I can't imagine going one day without him! (Gag!) Sorry just puked a little bit right in my mouth. Our daughter (Mouse) is 11 going on 25 and our son (Monkey) is 10. They are the reason I get up in the morning! No really they are the reason... I can't get them to be quiet! I work in the same School district that my children attend..Makes for some interesting parent teacher conferences! Stay tuned Kiddies for more updates.


Julie