I remember like it was yesterday holding that little wriggling pink bundle of absolute love. She wasn't cute like other people's babies this one was special. I had always heard people talk about how much they loved their child, but I really couldn't grasp the sheer force of the feelings that you experience, it is truly life changing. It has been said it's the moment that your heart starts to beat in someone else's chest. I couldn't possibly say it any better, she stole my heart and I have never been the same. I look at her and I am stricken by how beautiful, talented, intelligent and genuinely kind she is and as I watch her grow into the person she will ultimately be, I am humbled by how much she has taught me about who I am and who I should be. I watch her as she grows and meets challenges with a grace and serenity that has to be God given because she has surely not learned it from her Momma. She is growing up and pulling away wanting to be more independent and the desire to protect her from all the awful things I know are waiting out in the world is almost too much. All I can do is give her what little wisdom I have and trust that this person I have created has the strength of character to look at all those temptations and know in her heart she will never be less of a person for saying no. I have to allow her to go out and make choices and use all of the skills I know she has and it's killing me.....But I will smile, ask if her cell phone is charged and tell her to have fun! I wonder is this ever gonna get easier?
I hope not.....
Julie
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